Heartbreak

I had to bring 3 big and heavy boxes to my relatives because another relative ordered these stuff for them. I was kinda upset and tired. The boxes were heavy and bulky. On my way there nag stop over pa yung cabbie to get gas. I wanted to berate him but I controlled myself. I was thinking baka i-overcharge pa nya ako kse most taxis have meters that are madaya. Good thing ok ang metro nya so nabawasan ang inis ko.

As soon as I reached the place, my Aunt greeted me warmly. I kissed her and went directly to check on my Lola. I do not know if she recognized me but she did ask me when I arrived, her usual spiel. I then went to the next room and I saw one cousin with her kids. She was holding
her newborn. I carried the newborn and fed her and burped her so my cousin could take a shower and go to church.

By this time malamig na ulo ko. I enjoyed holding the small baby in my arms. She smelled nice and she seemed to enjoy sleeping in my arms. Another cousin greeted me and I told her about the stuff I brought. She was touched by my other relative's gesture and she kept saying ang bait nya. Gumanda na mood ko because of this. I thought my sacrifice was small, the fact that my relatives appreciate the items that my other relative bought for them was enough to make me happy.
I went to his room when my cousing brought his food. He lost weight and looks older. I kissed him and told him I brought some stuff from abroad sent by another relative. He acknowledged me, his voice was weak. I did not want to stay long insde the room, I felt akward but my cousin insisted I stay and we chatted for a while. My sister called while we were in the room, she spoke with my cousin first then talked to me briefly. She asked me how she is, I could not speak because I felt I would burst into tears.

When my other cousin arrived, we had lunch together. Right after lunch, I told everyone I had to leave. As I was preparing myself, my cousin informed me to say goodbye to him. I was not expecting this, I usually leave without saying goodbye because he would be asleep by the time I leave. So nagpaalam ako. As I approached him, he held out his hand and held my hand and kissed it while I kissed his forehead. Nagulat ako. I just left at once baka doon pa ako sa looob ng room humagulgol.

I called my Mom and told her about this, she cried. We both cried. She told me he loved me the most, I told her I know he does, never doubted this. My Mom told my Dad what I told her. He left the room and cied alone.

I just hope he knows I love him too. I can't tell him verbally because I;m afraid to break down and cry. I do not want him to see me cry or get emotional. I do not want to see him sad.

I plan to cook his favorite pinakbet this coming weekend. I hope he gets to eat a lot this weekend.