Friday, December 30, 2005

Wisdom For The Ages?


Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not
live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever,
then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever,
which is why I would not live forever."
Miss America 1995 from Alabama
Heather Whitestone

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids
all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love
to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and
death and stuff."
Popular Pop Singer
Mariah Carey

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost
a very important part of your life,"
(During an interview to become
Spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign.)
Model, movie and TV actress
Brooke Shields

"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part
of my body,"
University of Kentucky Basketball Forward
Winston Bennett

"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the
lowest crime rates in the country,"
Washington DC Mayor
Marion Barry

"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through
our papers. We are the president."
(Commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.)
First Lady and
Democratic Senator from New York
Hillary Clinton

"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death
by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it,"
A congressional candidate in Texas

"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
Philadelphia Phillies' Manager
Danny Ozark

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's
the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
Vice President
Al Gore

"We are ready for any unforeseen event that
may or may not occur."
Vice President
Al Gore

"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."
Vice President
Dan Quayle

"We've got to pause and ask ourselves,
How much clean air do we need?"
Chrysler Chairman and CEO
Lee Iacocca

"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football.
A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
NFL Quarterback and Sports Analyst
Joe Theisman

"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply
exclude certain types of people."
ROTC Instructor
Colonel Gerald Wellman

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
Bill Clinton

"Traditionally, most of Australia's
imports come from overseas."
Keppel Enderbery

"Your food stamps will be stopped effective
March 1992 because we received notice that
you passed away. May God bless you. You may
reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
Greenville , South Carolina
Department of Social Services

"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack
in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their
heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when
they wake up dead, there'll be a record."
FCC Chairman
Mark S. Fowler

Feeling smarter yet?