Goodbye Lola, I love you.

My grandmother, Luz Lising Domingo, passed away last Friday. She will be cremated today.

On November 7, she was rushed to the hospital due to high fever. It was discovered that she has pneumonia and a high level of UTI. When I visited her Saturday, she looked ok except that she was kinda delusional. A nurse took her temperature, he said it was not high anymore. My Lola stayed there till Wednesday, and was discharged Thursday morning.

I am sad to lose her. I was her favorite but when my nephew was born, I was dethroned. We were expecting her to go around April because she developed bed sores but the sores healed and she was fine again. My Uncle Bob, her first born, even went ahead of her. He had stage 4 cancer and he passed away September 21. Naunahan pa ni Uncle si Lola. She never knew her son died. My Auntie tried to tell her but my lola had some dementia already.

Auntie told her, "Mommy wala na si Bobby." Lola responded, "Diba nasa hospital sya?" Auntie clarified, "Wala na po sya, Nasa heaven na." Then Lola asked, "Kelan sya babalik?"

Apparently, she could not absorb the idea that my Uncle has passed away already. We could not bring her to my Uncle's body (he died at home) kasi we were afraid she would also die that day too.

I was able to visit Lola a few times while she was in the hospital. I am happy to have been able to serve her a few times. Masaya na rin ako kasi she recognized me. That means that she knew I was able to feed her and fix her. I even put lipstick on her because I was afraid her lips would crack since she was breathing through her mouth.

On the last day I saw her, there was a point she was just looking at me as if she was trying to tell me, "My dear apo, it's a pity I won't be spending more time with you anymore." She had that look in her eyes that were kinda sad but loving. I smiled and waved at her and she smiled faintly.

My only regret is that I was not able to tell her I love her. I know she felt my love during the time I was at the hospital with her pero iba pa rin kung nasabi ko sa kanya na mahal ko sya. With my Uncle, I was not able to really serve him but I was able to tell him I love him.

I'm rambling. I'm expressing my thoughts, my sadness. But I know she is now resting and with her Creator.

Goodbye Lola. I love you.

20 Questions

I was tagged by Buge. I haven’t done this in a looooonnggg time.

Here are the rules: Remove one (1) question from below and add in your personal question, make it a total of 20 questions, then tag eight. List them out at the end of this post.

1. Who do you miss the most right now?
My parents.

2. My question: Past or present, who would you consider the greatest love of your life?
SG.

3. Ever thought of going away just to be alone? What do you have in mind?
I’m always alone so this isn’t something unusual. I would like to go to Isla Naburot in Guimaras, enjoy nature, get away from the trappings of city life.

4. Where is the place that you want to go the most?
I would love to tour Asia.

5. Which part of you that you hate the most?
My fats... I have lots, all over!!

6. When you encounter a sad moment, what would you do?
Try not to dwell, I think there is always a right place and a right time to be sad.

7. What are you afraid to lose the most?
What am I afraid to lose the most? My eyesight and my teeth!

8. If you win $1 million, what would you do?
Pay off debts, save most of it, ask my parents to come back home, take my entire family to a trip out of the country.

9. What do you loved the most last year (2007)?
New year's eve, I was with my siblings and their families.

10. List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you:
Down to earth, caring and sweet Buge.

11. How do you cope with boredom?
I sleep, watch TV, read blogs or chat. Not necessarily in that order.

12. Till now, what is the moment that you regret the most?
Not finishing that thing I started, my source of pride.

13. Which type of person do you hate the most?
Dishonest people.

14. What is your ambition?
To be a mom? Bleah!

15. If you had one wish, what would you wish for?
Lose 40 lbs and keep it off! I wish!

16. How did you celebrate new year?
Spent new year’s eve at my sister’s place. We did not have a big celebration but I was happy to be with my siblings and nephews.

17. It is already 2008, do you have a new year’s resolution?
I don't make resolutions but I do have some goals.

18. What do you look forward to in 2008?
A better Fiona, a happier Fiona.

19. If your life is a song, what title best fit it?
Make mistake number 3. Hehehe.

20. What is the most important to you, besides your family?
Myself of course!

I’m tagging Jomz, Mek, Maire, Karengkeng, Pearljem, Grifter, Jegolan, my namesake Fiona

Chismis

My maternal grandmother has been bedridden for about a month now. I've seen how her state of mind deteriorated in less than a year. She’s now getting weaker every day.

My uncle and auntie have been taking care of her. Nahihirapan din sila kasi they are also old and sick. Last week, I called a relative, an aunt in the province, and asked her if she could find a maid to take care of my lola. She said she will try. I told her how my lola is, told her she is bedridden with bed sores na. These are signs that she may go soon. But her spirit is stronger than her body. Nakakasigaw pa sya.

Last Sunday, I got a text message from my aunt from the province saying that she heard from another relative that my lola is in coma. My aunt wants to know if she would still have to look for a maid. I was in a shock, I did not know if I should get upset or if I should laugh.

I wanted to laugh because in spite of the supposedly condition of my lola, my relative was more concerned our arrangement with the maid. Nakupo! Displaced priorities or concerns?

I wanted to get upset because I was not sure the story was true. I had a feeling the person who relayed the message made an automatic assumption that my lola is in a coma and passed on this story to another relative. I got more upset when I tried to call people but their phones were either unattended or turned off. I could not call my uncle or auntie who were taking care of my lola because I did not want them to know where the story came from, it might offend them specially my uncle. I had to leave work a little early to check what's happening. Buti na lang my brother's phone was turned on so I was able to ask him to call my auntie to ask if Lola's ok. He texted me later saying lola is still the same. I was glad to hear that but I was still upset over the coma story. I informed my sister as soon as she got home from church. She told me that earlier she called another relative and told her how our lola is doing. She mentioned to her that lola is bedridden and did not mention anything about her being in a coma. I told her I had a feeling someone changed the story. My sister had to call a cousin to tell our relative that Lola is bedridden and not in a coma.

Although I know that the person who changed the word "bedridden" to "comatose" from the story had no bad intentions when she said that. Still, this is no excuse to be irresponsible with your words or relaying stories that are untrue and potentially hurtful. I was afraid my uncle would learn of this and get upset. Worse, my mom would hear of this and get really upset. She is abroad and she feels helpless there. I do not want her to get upset over chismis like this.

This is the work of idle minds. When people with minds are not preoccupied with more important things, they tend to create stories from nothing. Some of my relatives have been idle for a long time, no work, no play, just plain day to day nothingness. What's even worse is that they people they have been mingling with are not good influences. My relative's circle of friends have been encouraging her to take part in idle talk and destructive ideas or thoughts. Hay naku...

Remember, people will judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold -- but so does a hard-boiled egg.

- Anonymous

More blogs and a kinky post

I haven't been feeling up to posting anything interesting lately. I have ideas, lots of them but I just do not have the drive to start writing once I'm infront of my pc.

I have an idea about another sex and consequence churky but I'm still feeling low, too low to start it.

After I quit work, I tried my best go visit all the blogs on my list and have added a few more. Some of you may wanna visit these blogs:

My sister's blog
Buge's blog
Jego's blog

Buge and Jego are my friends from way back. My sister is, well, my siser of course. Hehehe.


Jego's latest post is most interesting. I wouldn't be surprised if he would one day show himself to us in tight fitting leather pants and shirt with his big bike. Hehehe.

Stressed

Stress according to Wikipedia:

In medical terms, stress is a physical or psychological stimulus that can produce mental or physiological reactions that may lead to illness.Technically speaking, stress is a disruption of homeostasis, which may be triggered by alarming experiences, either real or imaginary.[1][2]

Distress is the most commonly-referred to type of stress, having negative implications, whereas eustress is a positive, desirable form of stress. Both can be equally taxing on the body, and are cumulative in nature.

I've going through a lot of stressful situations lately, both positive and negative. Even the positive changes in my life are causing negative efffects on my body. I hope I survive with minimal damage to my system.

I need the change because my sub conscious has already warned me of the possible effects of homeostasis, and of not helping myself first before I help others.

*gulp*

My Cuz Blogs!

Na engganyo na mag blog cousin ko. She said it has become addicting. Hehehehe. Welcome to the wacky world of blogging KPJ!

SUNFLOWER DAY CAMP

Got this from my cousin who apparently has a ska band!

Labas na po ang 1st album ng SUNFLOWER DAY CAMP entitled ATTACK OF THE HORNS sa lahat ng Tower Records at Music 1 stores! Wag na mag-atubili, bumili na kayo! Tuloy-tuloy lang ang pag suporta di lang sa kanila, pati sa mga local artists natin.

Narito po ang GIG SKED ng SDC this month!

Sept 9 - Liwasang Ipil ipil, PICC Manila Muziklaban 2006 Grand Finals

Sept 12- UP Theatre, Eve-olution

Sept 15- Mayric's Espana, Anthem Magazine Event

============================

VOTE for PANAGINIP at the stairway to seven program at NU107.
You can text
NUVOTE PANAGINIP BY SUNFLOWER DAY CAMP and send to 29107
You can also call NU and request for the song or fax them and requestfor the song.
Phone - 6360099Fax - 6346516Email - sydney_nu@ ya h o o . c om.
Daily yan starting at 5PM.

Thanks!

My Happy "Childhood Memories"

This was taken March 2004. You can see from here that they can't keep still.

Posted by Hello

These are Renmund and Irvin, taken may 2003

Posted by Hello

Children and Childhood Memories

I love my blog! I love the way it looks. I love the music that I hear everytime come here. The Forrest Gump Theme reminds me of happy childhood memories, sugar and spice and all things nice. Life was then was fun, life was so much simpe then.
I seem to relive my childhood memories through my nephews when they are here with us. Whenever I'm feeling low, I would call them up just to hear their voices. When I was depressed a few months ago, I was lucky their parents let them stay here with us for a few days. It was so nice to hear the peals of laughter of kids in the house. This house used to be dead but it becomes alive when they are here. Oh, they can be so rowdy at times and I get irritated at times but it would eventually go away.
Since they are both in school now, I rarely see them. My eldest nephew, Renmund, would call me every now and then just to say hi, just to talk. I love this kid like my own. I was his surrogate mom. His younger brother, Irvin, just started going to play school this school year. Boy he learns fast! He can count and can identify colors. A few months ago he couldn't differentiate blue from red. He knows how to dial the phone and he would call almost everyday, just because he can, no reason at all.
It's so soothing to hear their voices on the phone. It's almost like having my own kids. Whenever I see them I would kiss and hug and smother them. When they are here, we would play kilitian. I used to tickle the eldest a lot but I can't do that anymore because of his asthma. He would have a hard time breathing if he starts laughing hard. So I make it a point not to make him laugh so hard. We would play silly games that would make the three of us laugh. This is how I relive my childhood memories.