Goodbye Lola, I love you.

My grandmother, Luz Lising Domingo, passed away last Friday. She will be cremated today.

On November 7, she was rushed to the hospital due to high fever. It was discovered that she has pneumonia and a high level of UTI. When I visited her Saturday, she looked ok except that she was kinda delusional. A nurse took her temperature, he said it was not high anymore. My Lola stayed there till Wednesday, and was discharged Thursday morning.

I am sad to lose her. I was her favorite but when my nephew was born, I was dethroned. We were expecting her to go around April because she developed bed sores but the sores healed and she was fine again. My Uncle Bob, her first born, even went ahead of her. He had stage 4 cancer and he passed away September 21. Naunahan pa ni Uncle si Lola. She never knew her son died. My Auntie tried to tell her but my lola had some dementia already.

Auntie told her, "Mommy wala na si Bobby." Lola responded, "Diba nasa hospital sya?" Auntie clarified, "Wala na po sya, Nasa heaven na." Then Lola asked, "Kelan sya babalik?"

Apparently, she could not absorb the idea that my Uncle has passed away already. We could not bring her to my Uncle's body (he died at home) kasi we were afraid she would also die that day too.

I was able to visit Lola a few times while she was in the hospital. I am happy to have been able to serve her a few times. Masaya na rin ako kasi she recognized me. That means that she knew I was able to feed her and fix her. I even put lipstick on her because I was afraid her lips would crack since she was breathing through her mouth.

On the last day I saw her, there was a point she was just looking at me as if she was trying to tell me, "My dear apo, it's a pity I won't be spending more time with you anymore." She had that look in her eyes that were kinda sad but loving. I smiled and waved at her and she smiled faintly.

My only regret is that I was not able to tell her I love her. I know she felt my love during the time I was at the hospital with her pero iba pa rin kung nasabi ko sa kanya na mahal ko sya. With my Uncle, I was not able to really serve him but I was able to tell him I love him.

I'm rambling. I'm expressing my thoughts, my sadness. But I know she is now resting and with her Creator.

Goodbye Lola. I love you.