Saturday, August 12, 2006

Talking about Sex

I was invited to talk about sex in Blogkadahan.

2 years ago, I stumbled upon Mec’s blog through G’s links. That time Mec’s latest post was on how she would want to be touched, her errogenous zones. I told G it’s pretty amazing how Mec can just express herself in that manner on her blog. G agreed that Mec is amazing, only a few Filipinas are open to discussing sex, openly admitting engaging in pre marital sex and some seemed prude because they wouldn’t admit they’re not virgins anymore. I told G to some Filipinos here, sex is still kinda taboo. I told her my experiences, how people react to me when I talk about sex so she could get an idea why SOME women don’t want to talk about sex and their sexual experiences.

If a woman openly admits that she’s had sexual relations with her boyfriend, she would be perceived as cheap or a woman with no morals. Some years ago, I had this gym friend who was also from UP, who proclaimed herself as an ultra-feminist. One day, things got really sticky between me and her because of my ex bf. I admitted to her that I’d been intimate with my ex a couple of times and lo and behold! She gave me a haughty look, one eyebrow raised and said, “You know, us in the academe, we consider women who have sex as sluts!” I was shocked! I couldn’t believe a self proclaimed ultra feminist would call a sexually enlightened person a slut. Hehehe. I guess she was hurt to learn I was desirable to my ex and not her.

On the other hand, when a woman talks openly to men about her sexlife or when she admits to being “not a virgin” anymore, some men perceive this as an invitation to have sex with this woman, and to some degree, they think this woman can be treated like dirt. And if a woman doesn’t want to discuss sex with a man, after all the coaxing and pleading and prodding from him, he will call her frigid or prude or a hypocrite. I remember one time, there was this guy who kept bugging me to talk about sex and the details of my sex life. I didn’t want to but after calling me maarte and a prude I got pissed and I relented. A few minutes into the talk I realized he was already wanking. Sheesh!

When I talk about sex, I usually talk about sex in general, I usually leave out details of my sex life as much as possible, I only talk about the gory details of my sex life to SOME friends, not all. I choose the people I talk to about sex, I choose the friends whom I should trust and the level of trust I give them. Why do I do this? Well, not all of my friends are comfortable with the topic. I’ve been “harassed” by male friends once they learn I am “open minded”. Some will try to poke and prod till I give in, some will be good to me even if I turn them down, others will take NO for an answer and diss you.

Medyo nagmamadali na ako so I have to show you nalang this edited conversation I had with a friend. He was surprised to see my pic there and he wanted to confirm it was me. Of course I didn’t admit nor did I deny, I wanted to play him. He used his graphic description of sex on me to either turn me on or diss me, it didn’t work. Kaya ayun, ayaw na ako kausapin. Hehehe.
Petpeeve ko: men who is soooo out there horny, those who are I-have-a-big-dick-I-swear! and the you-can’t-believe-how-good-I-am-in-bed types, those who shout “i’m sooo horny and soooo good in bed you should try me, I’ll fuck your brains out I promise! I’m really well hung!” Yeah right! I find this crass and crude. MAJOR TURN OFF! I think a man with a working brain and a good sense of humor is a lot sexier. Sex isn’t everything.

Antonio: ur pic looks familiar
ME: really?
ME: i dont know what to say…maybe somone has stolen my pic somewhere
Antonio: no
Antonio: i think i have seen u in person
ME: when and where?
Antonio: some years back
Antonio: in an eb party
ME: does it matter who i am?
ME: assuming i am this girl, so what?
Antonio: i guess so
ME: well it doesnt matter
Antonio: well its a big change
ME: you said so yourself
Antonio: she was very conservative and now u seem so open minded
Antonio: i like you better like this
ME: i dont know what to say
Antonio: cos we were very good friends
ME: i have a pic on my profile
ME: you dont
Antonio: i can put a pic thats not me on my profile like many people do
Antonio: but i would rather show my pic to those who are interested in what I say more than how i look
Antonio: im not ugly, im not fat, im not bald
Antonio: like i said ur pic looks exactly like that i girl I know
ME: so are you hinting that i may have just used someone else’s pic?
Antonio: i am not hinting at anything, one thing i am not is judgemental
ME: you’re not? really?
Antonio: i am just a horny bastard looking for a woman who is as horny as I am
Antonio: my wife is a nurse who spend 1 month of the year in the phils, so what will i do…fuck once a year
ME: the girl you know, you said she’s conservative, right?
Antonio: well she used to be, but everyone changes
Antonio: i wish she was you
ME: why? what am i?
Antonio: ur more libearated and open minded
ME: and she’s not?
Antonio: well she wasn’t then
ME: my point here is what you said about you not judgemental
Antonio: no im not
ME: the mere fact that you called one person not openminded and not liberated makes you judgemental
Antonio: i respect people’s choices and dont question their reasons for their decisions
ME: just because one person doesnt jive with what you want doesnt make her a freak
Antonio: well we are all judgemental to some degree. I called her that because she herself told me that she was conservative
ME: maybe she is open minded, she just doesnt want to open her mind to you
Antonio: so it wasnt a judgement i made
Antonio: well whether or not she is will all be up to her
ME: then i dont think it’s right to say she’s not open minded just because she has refused to go with your flow
ME: i’ve been in this lifestyle a short time but one thing i learned, people here show respect inorder to get respect
Antonio: i respected her beliefs and thats what made us close then
ME: just because one guy likes to wear a woman;s underweart doesnt make him less of a man
ME: but you called her not open minded
Antonio: and i never judged her. She is the one who would always say that she was conservative cos she had a lot of hangups about sex
ME: if you are an asshole and yet she maintained friendship with you then she definitely had an open mind
Antonio: no she said that
ME: so if she has hang ups? are you her shrink?
ME: are you her lover?
ME: you equate having hang ups as someone who wont go with you?
Antonio: nope just someone who would listen to her talk about it
Antonio: i dont…she did
Antonio: i would just listen to her
Antonio: u there
ME: yeah.. why?
Antonio: was just looking at ur pic
ME: and?
Antonio: ur pretty just like my friend
Antonio: but mataray
ME: so are you interested in BDSM or you were just luring me?
Antonio: im interested
ME: do you think you can manage to buy a strap on?
Antonio: yeah i saw one in a store in malate
Antonio: and what will i do with the strap on
Antonio: ur gonna put iit on?
ME: just incase we decide to play
Antonio: so that means u will have to get naked for to use it
ME: who says i need to getnaked?
Antonio: ok
ME: have you had any luck with the ladies on aff?
Antonio: some
Antonio: actually only a couple of them
Antonio: the rest are all talk
ME: im thinking of quitting aff
ME: not my kind of community
Antonio: why?
Antonio: actually i only met 1 woman who was as adbventurous and kinky as i am
ME: good for you
ME: i hope you were protected
Antonio: of corse
Antonio: no condoms no sex
ME: always??
Antonio: yup
Antonio: but i am kinky
Antonio: i like golden showers but only from women i know well
ME: define kinky?
Antonio: well something very few people would do
ME: that’s not a definition
Antonio: kinky is doing something that is beyond the ordinary. Out of the box
ME: kinky is twisted
ME: perverted, esp sex
ME: showing or appealing to bizarre or deviant tastes; “kinky sex”; “perverted practices”
Antonio: wow a walking dictionary
ME: sheesh
ME: Showing or appealing to bizarre or deviant tastes, especially of a sexual or erotic nature:
ME: is your taste bizarre?
Antonio: it has been at times…of course depends on how bizarre the woman im with allows it
Antonio: to some women anything other than missionary position is bizarre
Antonio: the thing is i will go as bizarre as the woman would allow
Antonio: i like getting peed on
ME: drinking pee?
Antonio: maybe
ME: wanking on cam?
Antonio: yeah
ME: that;s common actually
ME: lots of men do that
Antonio: yeah
Antonio: what do u enjoy when u fuck
ME: secret
Antonio: or do u enjoy it at all
Antonio: i love sucking a woman’s clits
Antonio: and tongue fucking her pussy
Antonio: and licking her ass
Antonio: i love to have her sit on my face with pussy wide open and rubbing it on my tongue
ME: Hahaha! Try harder!
Antonio: i guess that is boring to such a sexally knowlegeable person like you
ME: Antonio: i guess that is boring to such a sexally knowlegeable person like you <--- you make me laugh... a classic sign of being judgemental Antonio: sorry but i cant seem to be on the same page as you Antonio: i will be judgemental and say that you fit the role of being a dominant person Antonio: but to get humiliated by someone like you would not be enjoyable to mee Antonio: nice meeting you Antonio: at least ill know who to stay away form ME: Antonio: at least ill know who to stay away form <--- you sound like a petulant kid who cant have a new toy so he throws a fit... a sour graping person. Wanna hear me moan?

Read the other blogkada posts here...


Anonymous said...

Way to go!!! Hahaha! Kulet mo rin kausap! Musta na ganda? Di na ko nakakatambay sa IRC.

Nick Ballesteros said...

So ito na yung condensed version ng usapan nyo? hehehe ang haba pa rin. Kinukulit nga rin ako magsulat para sa topic for this month sa blogkadahan eh. Nagkaroon na ako ng angle pero when I started to write it, na-bla-blank ako. Strange. Kaya hayun, hindi pa rin ako nagko-confirm to write. hehehe

Char said...

That audio file is such a classic! :D Panalo!!!

Cerridwen said...

ate fions, I want to personally say thank you for taking the time to post in our group blog. The whole group were so appreciative.

Now if I can just kulit watson some more to post hee hee...

thank you so very much again. *hugs*

Anonymous said...


WTG fiona~ bakit sa mundo ko walang ganyan? :p

fionski said...

Master bate Ong keysi cher G, thanks for posting a comment. Hehehe.
G no need to thank me, Mec asked me once before but I wasnt sure I could pass an article on time. Bumabawi lang ako.
Kuya Watson mahirap kse yung wala ka sa right mood to write about something diba? Muntik na naman ako mag backout kaso dyahe kay Mec kaya ayun, maskipaps na! Sayang sana nagbigay ka, naiintriga ako sa sasabihin mo. Hehehe.
Keysi huli mo ako!

Senorito<- Ako said...

aha ! Ikaw pala yung anonymous entry na yun.

fionski said...

Wag mo naman ako buking senyorito! Waahh!

Anonymous said...

hi, fionski, judgmental is the word for men and women who squirms at women who can openly talk about sex. like you, i do it, with a limit, that is, talk about sex, only to some who can openly appreciate my wacky comments and opinions on sex.

i remember a married woman who at that time was listening to my exchange of kinky talks about sex, and she was really showing that she wasnt comfortable. she ended having an affair with another. tsk tsk such hypocrisy...

Fionski... said...

hahaha. really enjoyed this piece. way to go...stomping the wanker indeed! :)