Tuesday, April 08, 2008


My maternal grandmother has been bedridden for about a month now. I've seen how her state of mind deteriorated in less than a year. She’s now getting weaker every day.

My uncle and auntie have been taking care of her. Nahihirapan din sila kasi they are also old and sick. Last week, I called a relative, an aunt in the province, and asked her if she could find a maid to take care of my lola. She said she will try. I told her how my lola is, told her she is bedridden with bed sores na. These are signs that she may go soon. But her spirit is stronger than her body. Nakakasigaw pa sya.

Last Sunday, I got a text message from my aunt from the province saying that she heard from another relative that my lola is in coma. My aunt wants to know if she would still have to look for a maid. I was in a shock, I did not know if I should get upset or if I should laugh.

I wanted to laugh because in spite of the supposedly condition of my lola, my relative was more concerned our arrangement with the maid. Nakupo! Displaced priorities or concerns?

I wanted to get upset because I was not sure the story was true. I had a feeling the person who relayed the message made an automatic assumption that my lola is in a coma and passed on this story to another relative. I got more upset when I tried to call people but their phones were either unattended or turned off. I could not call my uncle or auntie who were taking care of my lola because I did not want them to know where the story came from, it might offend them specially my uncle. I had to leave work a little early to check what's happening. Buti na lang my brother's phone was turned on so I was able to ask him to call my auntie to ask if Lola's ok. He texted me later saying lola is still the same. I was glad to hear that but I was still upset over the coma story. I informed my sister as soon as she got home from church. She told me that earlier she called another relative and told her how our lola is doing. She mentioned to her that lola is bedridden and did not mention anything about her being in a coma. I told her I had a feeling someone changed the story. My sister had to call a cousin to tell our relative that Lola is bedridden and not in a coma.

Although I know that the person who changed the word "bedridden" to "comatose" from the story had no bad intentions when she said that. Still, this is no excuse to be irresponsible with your words or relaying stories that are untrue and potentially hurtful. I was afraid my uncle would learn of this and get upset. Worse, my mom would hear of this and get really upset. She is abroad and she feels helpless there. I do not want her to get upset over chismis like this.

This is the work of idle minds. When people with minds are not preoccupied with more important things, they tend to create stories from nothing. Some of my relatives have been idle for a long time, no work, no play, just plain day to day nothingness. What's even worse is that they people they have been mingling with are not good influences. My relative's circle of friends have been encouraging her to take part in idle talk and destructive ideas or thoughts. Hay naku...

Remember, people will judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold -- but so does a hard-boiled egg.
- Anonymous


Anonymous said...

Pass the word that you're raving mad at whoever made up that story and that will spread like wildfire within your family. From that time on, they will be careful.

Nick Ballesteros said...

I agree with Philippine Updates.

Anonymous said...

So sad but we all have this kind of story and share of rotten apples within our families. What is more important is how we deal with it or them, to include how we raise of own kids. Teach them not be like their rotten elders.

grifter said...

on a tangential note, i hate texting not only because of the negative influence of grammatical and spelling shortcuts, but also the lack of proper context and breadth of expression, that so much is lost in translation, and people end up misunderstanding each other. better just have it out face to face, or at least use the phone's real purpose: to talk :-)

fionski said...

Hello JC, Nick, Grifter and What's in Manila.
I'm opting not to say anything to the relative anymore. I doubt it she will acknowledge her mistake. Hehehe.
I hate text speak too. I prefer whole words as opposed to short cut words. This is another topic for discussion. Hehehe.
Thanks for the visit guys!

jc smith said...

Hello, Fionski!

You need not confront anybody. just let the word spread that somebody was spreading a malicious story and that you are soooo mad. The story will spread within the family and from that time on, they will be careful.