Friday, May 06, 2005

To Blu

Last Sunday's My Favorite Line on Philippine Star caught my eye. It's from The Breakup Diaries by Maya Calica:

"At some point you will learn that no matter how hard you play by the rules, make all the right moves, and try to be the Ms. Perfect, you don't always get the results you hope for."

My cuz and I discussed how we prayed for the right man to come into our lives but we still got duds. I remember asking for signs that would make me realize that he's not the one, but I was blinded by love, there were signs yet I refused to see them. There was one time I prayed that if he and I were not meant to be then the Lord would find a way out for me from the relationship and that He would remove the love that I felt for him. The Lord did find a way out for me but removing the love I felt was hard. I still ended up accepting him inspite of all the things he did to me. Then when he lied to me again I was mad at the Lord for letting him back into my life. I blamed Him for introducing him to me in the first place.

Funny, when you're in that position, you refuse to see the truth. I knew then that by praying this way, I won't get the right answer. But I kept praying this way, still hoping my prayer would work. You know what's wrong with this prayer? By asking God to give you the "right man" or showing you "signs" or asking Him to do things for you, you are saying "God, I don't want to be responsible for my palpak choices so I leave everything up to You. If something goes wrong, hindi ko kasanalan ok?" We may not say thing verbatim but this is really what we want to happen: we don't want to be responsible for our actions.

Being Godly, or religious or prayerfull or spiritual doesn't make anyone of us better or won't spare us from making the wrong choices or getting hurt by other people. God has given all of us free will, so we would make our own decisions. We have the capacity to make the right choices, to do what's best for us. Of course we are allowed to make mistakes, we are only human. Yun lang, praying or being a good girl doesn't guarantee us a happy life. Specially if we think good things will happen to us by doing good deeds.

We have people around us who support us and give us a different perspective of things, but we don't want to listen to them because we think they don't want us to be happy. When someone gives us a valuable piece of advice, if it doesn't feel good or it doesn't fit the picture we see through our rose colored spectacles, we dismiss it as paninira or unimportant.
How many times have I tried to warn you na duda ako sa kanya? Hindi ba when your sister gave you a piece of advice nagalit ka and you said she doesnt understand you and she doesnt want you to be happy? Natangsit ka gamin. I told you not to get intouch with him anymore but you did. You called him up and what did he do to you? He hung up on you and he kept rejecting your call. I don't want to have to say to you "I told you so..."

You know why the same thing happened to both of us? To teach us a lesson, to open our eyes. Dasal tayo ng dasal pero hindi naman natin binubuksan mga mata natin sa katotohanan at wala naman tayong ginagawa to make things right. There were signs but we refused to accept them since these signs were telling us what we didn't want to know, they were telling us of impending doom that we couldn't accept, so we had to suffer. Sabi ni Lord, "Ayaw mo makinig? Puwes, magdusa ka!" Tough love works for us because we are stubborn. We learn things the hard way.

I hope may natutunan ka sa nangyari sa iyo. I know I sound like making sermon but I just want you to learn this now, I'm afraid he might show up and ask you back tapos tanggapin mo sya. Mahihirapan ka lang. Don't make the same mistakes I made. You might end up tough and bitter.

No Man is worth a womans tears. The only one whos worth her tears is the one who knows he could but would never, ever make her cry.


Nick Ballesteros said...

Hello Ate Fionski! You can speak Ilocano! Naglaing met! Too true, sometimes we get so immersed in the asking that we forget to take notice of anything else, including the signs we have been asking for.

Ka Uro said...

"At some point you will learn that no matter how hard you play by the rules, make all the right moves, and try to be the Ms. Perfect, you don't always get the results you hope for."

You know what's wrong with this quote? It's emphasis is in what you get in return of your action.

When you do something like love someone, do not think of being loved in return as the reward for your initial action. Think of the act of loving as a reward in itself. Being loved in return is just a bonus.

Anonymous said...

Pang-martyr lang yata yung pagmamahal na walang kapalit. Martyr ka ba? ako hindi. It hurts when love is unrequitted, di ba? When you give love, you deserve to be loved, unless the love is unconditional like that of a mother to a child. (Happy Mom's Day to all the mommies, by the way).

Tanggero said...

Are you really asking for signs or just setting the standards for the man of your choice? unconsciously.

fionski said...

Hello kuya Wats0n! Wen makasao-ak iti ilocano. Hehehe. True ka dyan kuya. We are focused on what we want to see rather than what's being said to us.

Ka Uro what I'm trying to say here is that if you do the right things, you should get the right results, the results you hope for, take note the quote didn't say expect. I think it's only normal to hope to get something good from doing good, right?

Marisol has a point, para kang martir kung walang kapalit. I don't believe in romantic love to be unconditional, only mothers are capable of unconditional love.

Looking for signs, Tanggeroo, at least in my opinion. I don't think one would even take notice of a person who can not pass your standards, right?

Anonymous said...

hey fionski! dropping by to greet your mom a happy mother's day, though im a bit late. hehe. have a nice week ahead. :)

HanAgiRL said...

no man is indeed worth a woman's tears...easier said than done though. It's hard, esp for me that's so iyakin! :/ yes, I'm a wuss :)